My Testimony

I have always believed in God, but when I was thirteen realised that living with Jesus was what it was really all about.  My vicar had said, ‘When I became a Christian, suddenly the grass became greener’.  This sounded great, so I went along with it!  My motive may have been foolish, but I know that the decision was the best one I have ever made.  However, becoming a Christian did not always make the grass greener…

I started playing music when I was five and discovered that I was quite good at it.  I was accepted into a specialist music school later and was sure that God wanted me to ‘make it’.  However, I developed ‘performance-related’ injuries preventing me from playing as much as I’d like.  The first incidents were relatively short-lived, but as time went on I experienced more and more ‘itises’ and ‘syndromes’ in my upper body.  I had many treatments, but they only gave temporary relief.  I was continually told that my problems were the result of bad playing techniques, but my violin teachers couldn’t find anything to correct.  After eight years I started developing problems in my hips, which were obviously not due to violin playing!  I finally received a diagnosis which made sense.  I have Hypermobility Syndrome: a genetic disorder of the connective tissues (muscles, joints, skin etc.) causing vulnerability to injury and chronic pain.  Since this diagnosis I have received more appropriate treatment, but continue to suffer more injuries and confuse more doctors and specialists with my ‘wonky’ body.  The last couple of years have been even more trying as I have increasingly had to sacrifice ‘normal’ activities, cope with increasing levels of pain, use a wheelchair and experience yet more unsuccessful treatment.  As for my music, I am a long way from my childhood dreams…

So, where’s God and prayer in all of this?  There are 101 lessons I have learned, and 101 blessings, alongside the same number of challenges.  God had never let me go, and continues to guide and sustain me in every trial and decision.  He has brought good out of bad time after time, (Romans 8:28) and I know from experience that His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9).  God has shaped my life through this, transforming my gifts (I now use my music in new ways) and giving me new ones.  He has changed my direction and I have been led to new places and met new people for which I am so thankful.

Of course I struggle with pain and unanswerable questions, but has suffering damaged my faith?  No, quite the opposite.  Through it God has given me a strong desire to pray.  I believe that prayer is an amazing privilege given to us for intimate relationship with the creator of the universe.  When we pray we are calling on heaven to intervene into any situation, anywhere, anytime, for anybody!  Countless number of people have prayed for my healing, yet I am still not healed, but I believe that God has answered every one of those prayers with His answer ‘No, not yet, but THIS…’ and He has worked amazing alternatives in my life.  We will never stop praying, even when the answers are not the ones we want to hear, or when God seems silent.  God’s answers come at the right time with the right solution.  Please keep praying for my healing, and for strength in the meantime!  I have seen God answer many prayers, and exceed my expectations beyond belief.  Please ask for prayer through this site, whatever your need, and also share with us your answers to prayer, whether they are ‘Yes!’ ‘No’ or something else…

UPDATE

It is now 2007, more than three years on from when I wrote the above testimony.  I asked you to be praying for me and have been so grateful for all who have continued to do so.  One of our dear prayer partners in Africa even held a whole day of prayer and fasting with his whole Church family especially for me!  God is indeed answering my and your prayers.  You can read about many of these on our Answers page, but here it's now appropriate to bring you up to date with my health.  In the last year and a half God has led me to health professionals who have had the right training, good discernment and kindness, not to mention facilities to help me beyond my imagination.  I have seen remarkable improvements, and am growing in strength all the time.  I have to be pro-active in this healing, committing to exercise and other discipline in order to continually improve.  I believe that God has the power to heal in supernatural ways, but also believe that He may choose to work alongside those in the medical profession He has given the skills and gifts to treat us.  God also chooses to work alongside us in our healing, just as He does in other areas of life, such as spreading the gospel or helping the poor.  We can pray for God's help, but we should be prepared to be active in the answer to that prayer!  I am enjoying this three-way relationship of trusting God, trusting my medical team and working hard myself to keep up the exercise programme and persevere in prayer and positive thinking. 

I want to encourage all who seek healing for any physical, emotional or spiritual illness to come to the Lord, expecting Him to be there for you constantly and expecting Him to help you.  However, as I said previously, He may answer you prayer in unexpected ways, and you must be prepared to follow Him wherever he may take you.  This can give us great confidence, as we can be active in our healing and not simply sit back waiting for some change.  "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5, 6.  Now that I am gaining in strength, the Lord is reawakening some of my old musical dreams.  It's a challenge to discern what He is saying, but also exciting, as I once more have to surrender my will to His own, knowing that His plans are the best!

 Hallelujah! 

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Photographs

Below are some pictures Rob took of me in various lovely places in Dorset.

As you can tell he has a habit of calling my name and 'clicking' just as I turn around.